Transitions and Fairy Houses

Man, it's hard to get kids to listen. Our kids have been out of sorts for a few weeks, and so have been really difficult behaviorally.  I'm noticing that I have to tell them multiple times to do things, they are fighting more, and just being outright defiant a lot of the time.

In all, it can be exhausting, and some days I feel like I'm getting nowhere with them. I analyze myself, our schedule, the weather... anything that I think I may be able to change to get different results with them. Some things work, some things don't, and there I am back at the beginning. Just hoping and praying that I'm doing all I can do to help them grow and learn. Perfection is not what I expect, just progress. And sometimes, just the status quo.

It's the end of the school year this week, and that will help a lot, I think.  The kids are tired of school, and let's face it, so am I. There are some things I'm looking forward to happening this summer, and frankly, I'd like to get to it. Then, my wife has had some changes with her job this week that will affect her schedule (and by extension, ours).  It's kind of a transition time, and I'm just hoping to get through the week fairly unscathed.

Meanwhile, the end of the school year also brings some different feelings... I don't know about you other homeschool parents, but I feel a lot of pressure to make sure the kids learned everything they should this year. I mean, it's all on me, I feel. And what happens if they go to regular school and they don't know something they should? My wife tells me that we have covered everything we should have (she does the curriculum research), but I'm sort of like my second-born, the skeptic. I tend to imagine the worst most of the time.

But... life isn't just bad and struggling. For example, last night, the girls designed fairy houses outside, played in the sprinkler, and for the most part, got along really well and had a blast. Here are some moments:

Ahh, summer.  It's coming, and it's almost here!  We live in the North, so I know this may seem a little late to my Southern friends, but that's just how it goes.  We're all itching to be free of school year constraints and embrace watermelon and visits to the lake and sparklers.

Girls and Potty Humor (I Just Burped On That Guy)

It's Friday the 13th, so why wouldn't I end the week with a post like this?

Those of you who may only have boys may be surprised to hear that my girls are as enamored with potty humor as perhaps your boys are. Burping, farting (we call it "tootling" in our house. It supposedly seemed more cute... I guess. My wife came up with that. She said that baby girls don't fart, they tootle. Whatever, it still stinks.)

Any emission of any kind from any orifice will generate loads of laughter and reprises.  

A few months ago, my three year old was in Walmart with my Wife (the bread aisle, specifically), and she burped as a loud as any 43 year old man. A soldier was in the aisle and was startled by it. My Wife told her to say, "Excuse me." But instead of saying that, the three year old announced clearly, "I just burped on that guy." Well, everyone around started laughing.  

The culprit who keeps "burping on" people.

I guess it was pretty funny, but I have to say that this aspect of my children kind of caught me off guard. I never really thought that having to curb potty talk would be something I would have to think about.

We're not too strict about it, but occasionally it will get out of hand, and I have to come down hard.  Mostly, it's just on those times where they obnoxiously run up to sit on your lap because they want to fart on you or get in your face to burp on you. One of the ways I do this is I give them boy names that correspond to their (real) girl names. I'll say something like, Oh, I have a son now! Andrew (Annabelle), how is your supper? It must be really good to make you burp that loudly at the table!  Or, Kevin (Katie)! Do you need to go to the bathroom? Because that was really stinky!

They think it's hilarious, and I don't think I'm doing major psychological damage to them... yet. But I think they get the point. Manners are really hard to teach to kids. They seem to inevitably want to revert to the lowest common denominator.

So, in honor of our third youngest, "I just burped on that week!" Have a great weekend! 

5 Signs My "Coolness" Has Ended

Having kids presents a unique challenge when it comes to maintaining the "coolness" of pre-kid adulthood. I'll give you 5 signs it has ended for me.

1. Never in my teenage life, or adult for that matter, did I want to buy a minivan. Well, sure enough, I drive a minivan. And when my wife and I decided to buy one (much to my great reluctance), I said to her, "I just don't want a white one." Well, you can imagine what color it is. 

2. Not only has my "cool" car dreams been flushed, so has my grammar. (And I try to write as a living). My kids have a way of discombobulating the English language, and unfortunately, I find myself saying the same things they do. Little phrases like some form of "ruined up" has entered our children's vocabulary somehow (Just like "willn't"). An example of this phrase is "Mom, Dad, the baby's ruining up my Lego set!" or "Belle ruined up my notebook!" Either way, I occasionally find myself using this phrase, and cringing.

3. Changing a baby's diaper has never really been perceived as cool. But if you thought there is a little bit of cool involved, it completely is "ruined up" when you catch a vague scent of cat food in the diaper. And yes, we do have cat, so I know from where the source comes. It still doesn't, however, relieve the gag factor.

4. In the grocery store, I am now forced to use those carts with the little car on the front. You know what I'm talking about. They're the minivans of grocery carts. There is no "cool" factor in them at all... unless you can fit in them. But once again, I'm out of luck - just too darn big.

5. The last way my "cool" factor has been ruined is somewhat related to number 2. While I am not proud to admit, I have asked my wife before if she has seen my "panties." Let me remind you that I do have FOUR girls.

So, those are just a few examples of how my "coolness" has been "ruined up" with having children. But in the end, what does that matter? I doubt I had any to begin with!